Because they can?
Because they're bored?
Because they think with their penis?
Because they're stupid?
Because they're never happy?
Because you aren't fulfilling them sexually?
So which one of these answers have you heard before? There are a miryad of reasons why some would say men cheat, and of course there are. The reasons are as complicated and dynamic as the human psyche. It is almost impossible to break it down to one simple reason but when faced with a cheating spouse that's exactly what we want - the one simple reason why - so that we can try to fix it or move on if we can't.
And of course the response to this age old question depends on who you ask, the cheating spouse, the cheated spouse or the other woman!
The cheating spouse response
More often than not, when faced with defending the reasons why a man cheats, he will say that he was not being fulfilled, usually in the bedroom, but men can and do feel emotionally unfulfilled.
Helen found that sexual dissatisfaction was the most common 'complaint' cited by men as a reason to stray, with men saying things like, ‘the physical side has faded,’ or ‘our sex has become routine’.
In this case Helen advises you need to make time for sex - and the more you orgasm, the more you'll want to.
She also says if you have relationship problems - another big reason men cheat - try counselling before splitting.
But some of her findings are a lot less predictable.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264454/Why-DO-men-cheat-Controversial-honey-trapper-Helen-Croydon-goes-undercover-out.html#ixzz2PVZRXEJ0
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
1. Feeling surplus to needs
Common amongst new fathers and the partner of someone with a demanding job. The less busy partner feels unneeded.
Think bored housewife and a husband who doesn’t even notice when she gets a haircut. Or the hard-working husband whose weekend is filled with nothing but more chores.
These types complained that their relationship had become functional. They craved the freshness of new romance and went elsewhere to find it.
What to do:
Relationships should make us feel loved and energised otherwise we’re better off alone. So make your partner feel that way. Stop keeping tabs on who’s done what. In the long run it doesn’t matter.
Take time every day to talk and listen to each other - even if it’s just for 15 minutes over dinner or while you have pre-bedtime cup of cocoa.
2. In love but lacking romance
I was surprised by how many men said they loved their wives deeply and were not looking to end their marriage, but wanted ‘something extra’.
Not necessarily sex but the romance - dinners and dates.
Many expressed they wanted to ‘feel like they looked forward to seeing someone again.’
What to do:
Sadly familiarity can cancel out passion even though familiarity is what we all want from a relationship.
It’s easy to steer your relationship away from dreary domesticity though and become fascinated in each other again.
3. Partner health issues
When one partner has health problems which limit their sexual life, the other partner may consider this as an amnesty on fidelity.
Any previous guilt is removed by the fact that their partner can no longer fulfil roles in the relationship that they once could.
I met several men who claimed their wives had consented to them seeking sexual - but not emotional - fulfilment outside of marriage.
What to do:
Consent is key here. Just because you think you’re not cheating, doesn’t mean your partner wouldn’t feel cheated.
There’s nothing wrong with a negotiated open relationship but for those that can’t handle the thought of that, you’ll have to address the sex imbalance some other way.
4. The ‘one last time’ syndrome
Common amongst men and women who are about to get married or make a similar commitment.
They feel they can hold onto their previous identity with one last experience of their old life. They mistakenly believe that one final memory will sustain them for years ahead of ‘being good.’
What to do:
This is just a fantasy. ‘One last time’ won’t make them feel any more experienced than they already felt when they committed.
If you suspect your partner is daunted by the idea of long-term sexual fidelity, embrace their sexual appetite rather than try to repress it.
Encourage them to talk about things they would like to try and to share their fantasies so they feel you will help them fulfil them rather than hanker them.
Why not organise a naughty weekend away with sexy lingerie and some fun masks and ropes and pretend you’ve just met. Even if it’s just ten minutes from home.
5. Opportunism
Thankfully more rare than people may think. A man or a woman is out of town and a new, exciting and novel experience comes up and they think ‘no one will ever know.’
It does happen but not often.
To act on a fantasy usually requires mental preparation and lots of suppression of guilt so it’s unlikely a quick chat on a bar stool in a strange hotel will make someone jump into bed.
In my experience, people who stray on a whim have done it before or already given it some thought.
What to do:
It’s easier to say what not to do. Don’t keep tabs on your partner. Don’t be controlling or demand they phone.
Too much control only makes someone want to break free. Trust builds respect and there’s no better defence to cheating than respect.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264454/Why-DO-men-cheat-Controversial-honey-trapper-Helen-Croydon-goes-undercover-out.html#ixzz2PVZkDJkY
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
And of course the response to this age old question depends on who you ask, the cheating spouse, the cheated spouse or the other woman!
The cheating spouse response
More often than not, when faced with defending the reasons why a man cheats, he will say that he was not being fulfilled, usually in the bedroom, but men can and do feel emotionally unfulfilled.
Helen found that sexual dissatisfaction was the most common 'complaint' cited by men as a reason to stray, with men saying things like, ‘the physical side has faded,’ or ‘our sex has become routine’.
In this case Helen advises you need to make time for sex - and the more you orgasm, the more you'll want to.
She also says if you have relationship problems - another big reason men cheat - try counselling before splitting.
But some of her findings are a lot less predictable.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264454/Why-DO-men-cheat-Controversial-honey-trapper-Helen-Croydon-goes-undercover-out.html#ixzz2PVZRXEJ0
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
1. Feeling surplus to needs
Common amongst new fathers and the partner of someone with a demanding job. The less busy partner feels unneeded.
Think bored housewife and a husband who doesn’t even notice when she gets a haircut. Or the hard-working husband whose weekend is filled with nothing but more chores.
These types complained that their relationship had become functional. They craved the freshness of new romance and went elsewhere to find it.
What to do:
Relationships should make us feel loved and energised otherwise we’re better off alone. So make your partner feel that way. Stop keeping tabs on who’s done what. In the long run it doesn’t matter.
Take time every day to talk and listen to each other - even if it’s just for 15 minutes over dinner or while you have pre-bedtime cup of cocoa.
'Take time every day to talk and listen to each other - even if it's just for 15 minutes over dinner'
I was surprised by how many men said they loved their wives deeply and were not looking to end their marriage, but wanted ‘something extra’.
Not necessarily sex but the romance - dinners and dates.
Many expressed they wanted to ‘feel like they looked forward to seeing someone again.’
What to do:
Sadly familiarity can cancel out passion even though familiarity is what we all want from a relationship.
It’s easy to steer your relationship away from dreary domesticity though and become fascinated in each other again.
Many expressed they wanted to 'feel like they looked forward to seeing someone again'
When one partner has health problems which limit their sexual life, the other partner may consider this as an amnesty on fidelity.
Any previous guilt is removed by the fact that their partner can no longer fulfil roles in the relationship that they once could.
I met several men who claimed their wives had consented to them seeking sexual - but not emotional - fulfilment outside of marriage.
What to do:
Consent is key here. Just because you think you’re not cheating, doesn’t mean your partner wouldn’t feel cheated.
There’s nothing wrong with a negotiated open relationship but for those that can’t handle the thought of that, you’ll have to address the sex imbalance some other way.
Just because you think you're not cheating, doesn't mean your partner wouldn't feel cheated
Common amongst men and women who are about to get married or make a similar commitment.
They feel they can hold onto their previous identity with one last experience of their old life. They mistakenly believe that one final memory will sustain them for years ahead of ‘being good.’
What to do:
This is just a fantasy. ‘One last time’ won’t make them feel any more experienced than they already felt when they committed.
If you suspect your partner is daunted by the idea of long-term sexual fidelity, embrace their sexual appetite rather than try to repress it.
Encourage them to talk about things they would like to try and to share their fantasies so they feel you will help them fulfil them rather than hanker them.
Why not organise a naughty weekend away with sexy lingerie and some fun masks and ropes and pretend you’ve just met. Even if it’s just ten minutes from home.
Opportunism is rarer than people may think
Thankfully more rare than people may think. A man or a woman is out of town and a new, exciting and novel experience comes up and they think ‘no one will ever know.’
It does happen but not often.
To act on a fantasy usually requires mental preparation and lots of suppression of guilt so it’s unlikely a quick chat on a bar stool in a strange hotel will make someone jump into bed.
In my experience, people who stray on a whim have done it before or already given it some thought.
What to do:
It’s easier to say what not to do. Don’t keep tabs on your partner. Don’t be controlling or demand they phone.
Too much control only makes someone want to break free. Trust builds respect and there’s no better defence to cheating than respect.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264454/Why-DO-men-cheat-Controversial-honey-trapper-Helen-Croydon-goes-undercover-out.html#ixzz2PVZkDJkY
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
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